Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Thank You Riin Gill

Well, I just got home from making my police statement regarding the troll's threat. I've never made a police statement before; it was an interesting experience. The constable made an audio recording of my statement and took some notes. For the most part, I just reiterated what I said in my original report, added some additional background details on how the whole mess started and talked a little about the technical details of IP tracking etc.

One thing came up in the conversation, however, that was a major step forward in the investigation. Up until now, I haven't been able to tie the threat to the troll, at least not in a legally binding way. The threat was posted on Riin's blog, not mine; the only evidence I have that the threat was from my troll was the similarity in the grammatical and spelling errors between the comment on her blog and the comments on mine.

While that is fairly compelling evidence circumstantially, it really wouldn't hold up in a court of law. In order for it to be proven legally that the threat came from the same person who's been trolling my blog we would have to obtain the IP address logged on Riin's blog to compare against the IP I tracked on StatCounter. In other words, unless Riin was willing to cooperate with the investigation and provide that information, I have nothing.

I had to know. While the constable was setting up the recorder, I asked if they had contacted Riin yet.

They had.

I got a bit of a chill when I first heard that. I've maintained from the beginning that I'd rather keep Riin out of this, but I was ultimately forced into this position when the troll took his/her little game too far. Now, all I could do was hope that Riin would be willing to help.

She was; she turned over her tracking data on the troll's comment.

I was surprised to learn that Riin apparently had written back to the troll and told them to leave me alone (Typepad, Riin's blogging platform, allows you to configure comments to require an E-mail address to post). The fact that Riin would feel that way doesn't surprise me; it does surprise me, however, that she'd take the risk of making direct contact with someone who was potentially dangerous to come to my defense. I was profoundly grateful to hear that.

But that was only icing on the cake; this was the best piece of news:

The IP was a match. Finally, I have legally binding proof that the threat came from the same person who's been harassing me all this time.

The warrant is ready; the constable will be bringing it before a judge within the week. Now that we have proof positive of where the harassment was coming from, it's now only a matter of time before, at long last, we have one dead troll in a baggie. :)

Before I close this entry, I have something to say; I doubt Riin will ever read this but, on the off chance she ever does, I'd like to say something to her in public and for the record:

Riin, I cannot stress enough how grateful I am for your help. Even after all you've been through with me, you were still willing to help. I realize you were probably motivated more by your abhorrence to violence than a desire to help me personally. Still, what you did was immensely helpful to me; I won't forget it. I'm also glad to see this tiny glimpse of the woman I fell in love with, the one who truly believes in "practicing compassion towards all living things."

I only wish there was something I could do to repay you. For one thing, I would do almost anything to help you get back into the saddle of a bike again, try to undo the damage I did with my obsessive compulsive "advice." If you're ever willing to let me try, my door is always open to you; if not, I understand. Just know that, if there's ever anything I can do for you, just ask; I owe you one.

For what it's worth, I can't tell you how sorry I am for what I put you through. I don't mean while we were together; I still maintain that I wasn't myself during that time and I still wish to this day I could've found some way to prove to you that I was, and am, still the man you fell in love with underneath all the pain I was in then. What I'm talking about is how hard I pushed after you broke up with me.

I was in the wrong to push you the way I did. It took me a long time to see that, but I do now. I couldn't help it. I was desperate because, at the time, you meant everything to me (you still do mean a lot to me, even after everything) and I knew I was losing you. The last time I lost someone like that, I got them back by fighting for them in exactly the same way; I thought the same approach would work with you. I was wrong. I pushed too hard, and I am sorry.

Also, for what it's worth, I still love you.

Take care of yourself.

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