Show and Tell

I'd like to address Riin about things she said about me in her last blog posting:

I have a lot of negative feelings toward John, but I don’t see any need to subject you all to them.

I agree. So why not subject me to them? I'm the one you're angry with. You'll feel a lot better if you confront me with them.

I’ll just say I’ve figured out a lot, so it’s been a learning experience.

So have I. I'm not the same man you left a month ago.

That's why I think we need to talk.

I’m just so much happier without him. It really is amazing how unhappy he was making me.

You know, you're not the only one who was unhappy. I've made mistakes, yes, but it wasn't all me. I had my issues with you, too. I don't think it's fair that you continue to trumpet how unhappy I made you without taking any responsibility for your part in this (relationships that go this bad invariably do so because of mistakes made on both sides).

You say this was a learning experience for you. Why is it so hard for you to believe that it might have been a learning experience for me, too? All you have to do is read this blog to see many of the revelations I've come to over the past month. Writing here has been therapeutic for me, just as writing in private has been to you. I'm willing to bet I've learned just as much.

All I'm asking is for you to talk to me. See for yourself if I've learned anything. Maybe, just maybe, between what you learned and what I learned, we might find the basis for a new understanding between us. Or maybe we won't. But if we don't even try, something good could be thrown away, and we'd never know it. Regardless how it comes out, we lose nothing by talking.

We were happy once. For two years. If we lasted that long, we must've had something special. At the very least, the basis of a friendship.

Before you throw us away completely, at least give us the benefit of the doubt.